Tuesday the 4th of February was a day, which changed my
life, my thinking and my spirit irreversibly and forever. It will always be my pot of shining gold at the end of the rainbow,
my hope in times of despair, my silver lining in every dark cloud…
I often relate my magical little story
to people, and more often than not, I can hear the disbelief in their voices, and see the doubtful expressions on their faces.
But I cannot blame them for this, for, had someone told me the same story a few years ago, I, too would have probably thought
it was fabricated, or at the very least, exaggerated.
You see, I had always thought that each individual has his/her
own preferences in terms of the form of ibaadah he/she gravitates towards. Some people prefer standing in supererogatory prayers
for long hours, others prefer reciting Qur’an, some enjoy dhikr others prefer du'a…
And I had resigned
myself to the fact that du’a just didn’t seem to be something which I could put my heart into. Perhaps it was
lack of faith on my part, or perhaps it was sheer laziness. Or perhaps I didn’t know how to ask, or when to ask. For
whatever reason, du’a was always something ritualistic in my day-to-day life - a few lines of memorized Arabic words
at the end of fardh salah, no tears, no smiles, no emotions, and that was it. In fact more often than not, I would leave it
Until Ramadan, two years ago. I was going through an extremely tough time - sadly most of us are when we
decide to ask Allah - when I received an e-mail from a mailing list I subscribe to. The brother who had sent the mail reminded
readers of the assured acceptance of du’a made on the Night of Qadr (Laylatul-Qadr). He said that since this night,
in all probability, occurred on one of the last ten days of the month, and since nobody knew exactly which night it was, everyone
should make a list of the things which they really wanted, and on each of the last ten nights, they should fervently and passionately
cry out to Allah, asking Him to give them those things. This way, the brother said, everyone would have made du’a on
each and every one of the last ten nights, and hence they would be sure that they ‘caught’ the Night of Qadr,
and if Allah willed, their du’a would be assure of acceptance.
I took great inspiration from this mail, more
so, because the brother spoke of how he had done this during a previous Ramadan, and how his du’a had been accepted.
And so my journey of discovery of began… I would accompany my brother to the mosque for Tarawih salah every night, and
we would always arrive a little early.
I would throw my head on the ground and cry my heart out, asking Allah, like
I’d never asked Him before: I asked for all the things which were missing in my life, I asked Him to remove my grief,
to Bless me with what I always wanted. I finally put all the theories I had heard and read about du’a in lectures, articles
and books, into practice: I acknowledged that I was weak, and my virtues, if existent at all, were few, I mentioned a few
of my good deeds to Him, and asked if He would reward me for them, small though they were. I told Allah that I loved Him -
and wondered why I had never bothered to tell Him this before. I told Him that I believed He could do anything - and wondered
why I had never believed this before.
That Ramadan, in those few nights, I spoke to Allah, and ask of Him, as
if He was my friend, as if I truly believed He could help me, as if I was there, listening. And quite honestly, I don’t
think I had done that before. And He responded. I got what I had wanted; I got what I had asked for.
come all at once, but it came. It didn’t come with great ease; there were many difficulties on the way, but I knew,
that if I had asked Allah, then I had to have faith in Him, and if I had faith in Him, then I had to have faith in His Words:
"Verily with difficult comes ease." [Surah Al-inshirah]
I shared this little story with a few of my friends, because
I felt it was blessing which other people could benefit from, and I found that I wasn’t alone.
There were people
out there who had realized the sheer power of du’a long before I had, and they inspired me further. These people made
du’a for everything they wanted, no matter how big or small it seemed. There was a sister who was certain she would
fail an exam, she hadn’t studied for it all - the night before her paper, she realized that there was one thing she
could do for herself: make du’a! And so she did. And she passed that paper.
Then there was another who would even
make du’a to lose weight, and she said it worked. I might have laughed at her five years previously. But who was I to
laugh now? A person can make du’a for he/she wants, as long as it is not haram, for e.g. asking for a premarital affair
to work out, or impossible, for e.g. to be turned into an animal. And why won’t the One who says, in Surah Al-Baqarah:
!When My servants ask you concerning me, I am indeed close to them: I listened to the prayer of every suppliant when he calls
unto me…! Accept it? And nothing convinced me of this like February 4th 2003 did…
My brother and I
had been for Hajj in the year 2000. We desperately wanted to return, but finances never allowed it. Then shortly before Ramadan
2002, I heard of an all - expenses paid Hajj, which the Saudi Royal Family offered to journalists, wanting to gain insight
into the background happenings of Hajj. I called the Saudi ambassador to South Africa, Dr Saud Zedan, who told me that there
weren’t any places available for this Hajj, but that I should apply to go as a guest of the Ministry. He told me that
I should fax our details to a sister called ‘Amal’ and I did so the next day.
That Ramadan, I was faced
with another test. Alhamdulillah, the previous Ramadan, I had learnt that du’a was the answer to finding my ways passing
such test. So I made my list, and high up, of course, was that Allah would take me and my brother for a second Hajj. I called
a close friend of mine’s, and asked her to make the same du’a.
I kept calling the embassy to ask if my
application had been successful, and I was always faced with the same answer: "We don’t know yet." January came - we
would know towards the end of the month, Amal told me. The list of applicants had been faxed to Saudi Arabia, and the selection
would be made there, and the names would then faxed to her. She asked me to call back on a Monday. Even today, thinking back,
I can almost feel my sinking heart when I heard her words. "Dr Zenden says to tell you he is very sorry, and that in sha Allah,
next year, you and your brother will be his personal guests." I called Dr Zenden for his efforts, and he had already heard
the news. "It’s Allah’s decision," he said.
I was heart broken. I thought to myself, "if I truly believed
in Allah and His Power, then I will practice on that belief." So I made Wudu, and thanked Allah for His Decision, and I told
Him that I understood that He knew of some good, in this outcome, which, I as a human being was unaware of. But I couldn’t
help asking Him too, if He could somehow reverse the Decision. I told my close friend the bad news, and all she said was,
"I am still making du’a."
A week passed, and I heard the last flight of Hujjaj had left South Africa that weekend.
I spent all weekend reminiscing and feeling sorry for myself, because I wasn’t on that flight. I felt that asking for
Hajj now, was like asking for something impossible, so I didn’t include it in my du’a anymore.
the 3rd of February was a devastating day. Something terrible - too personal to talk about - happened, and I felt this time,
I couldn’t go no. At 3am on Tuesday I was speaking to a friend, and last words of advice I heard were, "Fatima, make
wudu and pray." So I prayed. After a restless sleep, the memory of what had happened the previous night woke me up at 8am.
I made wudhu again and I sat down, raised my hands and asked Allah to help me. Barely five minutes had passed and my cell
phone rang. The Pretoria dialing code flashed on my screen. "Fatima?" it was Amal’s voice. "You are going for Hajj on
Friday. I need your passports."
Until today I am not sure of the hows and whys - Dr Zenden was surprised when I told
him that I had been accepted; he asked me if I was sure, and he said didn’t know how my name had found its way back
onto the list. "Its Allah’s Will." He reminded me.
I later heard that my brother and I had probably been replacement
for a couple who had decided not to go at the last minute, but in my heart, I know that this was probably Allah’s way
of answering my du’a.
My friend and I have spent long hours on the phone speaking about the power of du’a.
It’s like a treasure, which I have started to, and continue to, discover. And I want to share it with the world.
to Allah, in times, of need and in times of happiness. Ask Him and thank Him. Ask from your heart. And if you do not get what
you wanted, know that He is giving you something better, if not in this world, then in the Akhirah. Where there is du’a
there is hope. Believe this.